I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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