I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
