He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
