i can't believe i had my finger in that
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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