In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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