I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
