He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
