she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
