even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
