i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
