Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
