You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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