So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
