8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
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