ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
