She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
