i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
