So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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