Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
