She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
