hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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