the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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