YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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