Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
