I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
