Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
