Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
