He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
