Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
