Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
