I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
my god I love twenty year old dicks
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
