some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
