I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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