I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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