She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Randomize
