Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
