if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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