She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Two words: nipple clamps
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