I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
