David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
People in love make me want to vomit
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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