I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
