The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
