I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
