All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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