My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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