im drinking this country out of the recession.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
now i know why i became what i already was.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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