I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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