You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
