Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
