I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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