the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
